Is it ever ok to be angry?

At my place we have this ongoing argument about which butcher to use. I like to use the guy closest to us because he’s local, he always looks a bit like life has been hard for him and he has award winning sausages. He’s like Kath Day- Knight’s Kel, without the personality.

My partner doesn’t like him because he’s had more than one conversation that goes like this:

I’d like some prime rib please.

Doesn’t exist mate.

Yeah, it does. I’ve bought it before.

Not here, you haven’t. Don’t have it.

Or…

I’ve got an old school friend coming over and I wanna cook some big man sized steaks.

You can see what we have here.

Ok, can I get some cut thicker than that?
You can see what we have mate.

I know, but do you think you could cut me some others?
No, what we have here is good.

I’ve always found this funny as Buddy the Butcher is ok with me. Admittedly, I’ve tried pretty hard with him, because, you know, I am a Mango with a Banana rising and that’s what we do. So I speak slowly, call ahead, treat him with respect. One time he even smiled.

But then one day my friend was having a really hard time and as she loves curry I thought I’d make some to cheer her up. It was a spur of the moment thing.

I went to the butcher cap in hand.

I’m so sorry I didn’t call ahead. I just need a shoulder of lamb. Can you dice it please?

Silence in the shop. One butcher looks at the other, who simply shakes his head once.  Not even words.

Cue Monty Python voices. Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were a butcher. How ridiculous of me – because there was meat and everything you know,  I thought you were a butcher. I didn’t realise you were an arsehole! Easy mistake I know. See you later arsehole. I am never coming back.

This was my inside head voice. I know I’d been under some pressure which I was managing but even so, it is not like me to feel the blood starting to bubble . All that Apple that gets pushed down all the time forced its way from my brain to my mouth and I only just stopped it in time.

Two things stayed with me. How easy it is for us to snap when something is brewing. It’s a trait Bananas are only too familiar with. Say nothing, say nothing, say nothing, keep quiet and then boom!

But I also had to wonder – is it ok to snap sometimes? After all, anger is a perfectly normal human emotion. And the truth is, anger gets results. Much as I hate to admit it, you know that the person complaining angrily about their phone bill will get a better result than the nice one. Science says so too.  Just recently, there was a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology which suggested anger helps “overcome obstacles.”

I’ve come to the conclusion that some anger is ok. It lets you express how you feel and once out, just like crying, can make you feel better. But what’s not healthy is to a) belittle someone just to make yourself better or b) hold the anger for so long that it keeps eating away at you doing only you harm.

So maybe anger is best spent punching a boxing bag, or screaming alone in the bush. And as usual there is a happy middle ground. Bananas and Limes – it doesn’t hurt to show a little anger every now and then. Apples, tone it down. Mangoes – Mangoes! Are you listening?

To be frank I’m a little over always being the nice person. I’d quite like to be the angry person who gets things done every now and again. But it’s not to be. II’ve already moved on. I think it’s hilarious and I’ve got good mileage from telling the story twice so far.

Also, I like to support small business. I support local. And I really like his organic chickens. Damn you Buddy, I’ll be back.