Prior to the pandemic, a business buddy and I had been talking about forming a small group to get together and shoot the breeze on a regular basis. The intention was to share wins and losses, fears and problems, and provide strategic advice on business growth. We’d meet once a month on Zoom, then quarterly…
When you met it was a cute, sexy laugh. Now it’s a grating cackle.
What you loved most was that they always wanted to please you, and look after you. Now it’s like, just give me some space you sucker fish.
If things with the love of your life are not quite the same as when you met, you’re not alone. Across Australia and New Zealand, millions of people are currently experiencing lockdown. And that means, way too much time together. If you’re working with home and home schooling, straight to heaven for you. But even without that, being together so often is wearing thin.
You see, under normal circumstances, we’d be spending time apart, playing golf, going to the gym, out to work, travelling for work, and bringing our stories back to the campfire. That’s what makes our relationship interesting. Now we’re not going anywhere, not doing anything and even the most interesting amongst us are becoming mundane and same same to each other.
Understanding how your partner and/or other family members are dealing with lock down or other restrictions can help ease the pain a little. It’s not a cure all, but it can help.
Who suffers most?
Lockdown is most challenging for those with a Mango or Banana preference. These two are all about people and relationships. The Mango desperately needs people because they get their energy from those around them. They need people because they need an audience – who will laugh at their stories? Who will like them and make them feel good? They also get bored quickly and are constantly looking for different things to do. Whilst they can create fun projects for a while, they’d much rather be doing it with a bunch of other people.
Bananas have a compelling need to connect with others. They also desperately need to care for people. Caring gives them purpose. Combine this and you’ll find that the Banana will spend all day on the phone or on Zoom calls, checking on in people and making sure everyone’s ok while keeping their own connections open. Which is great. Unless you’re the Apple partner desperately trying to concentrate on the online course you’re enrolled in. Or a Lime trying to find peace in painting or reading.
Apples will always find something to do with a goal in mind but get frustrated easily because so much about this pandemic is out of their control. This makes them impatient and short with others.
Limes are experts at spending time in their own heads and generally will be grateful for quiet time. Let them have it.
There is no easy answer for this tough and challenging time many of us find ourselves in. But guess what? I’ve spoken to a bunch of couples who are using this time to reconnect and find more depth in their relationships. Really. More time can give you more empathy. And that, my friends, is your secret superpower in any relationship, at work or at home.
Lynne’s new book, Pick Me! Loving and Living with People You Just Don’t Get is out now. Through a series of hilarious, and relatable relationship stories constructed from real life scenarios, Lynne Schinella will share why and how we are different, the impact this has on our personal relationships and how to navigate the frustrating but delightful mess that is living with someone we just don’t get.
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Despite the cheeriness of my happy Fruit people I haven’t actually been feeling so Christmassy this year. I’m tired. I want to be all Scrooge and bah humbug but the Mango within won’t let me. I had cancelled my live tree weeks ago but the other night inner Mango won and forced me down to…
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